Despite President Obama’s righteous and noble efforts, he was unable to stop the arbitrary, across-the-board, devastating automatic spending cuts he designed from taking effect.
Under sequestration, returning to an agrarian society expected around 2018.
Rather than fall victim to the millions of unemployed wife-abusers that will soon be vagabonding the streets of America, I have descended to my cellar with enough instant rice and Ramen noodles to sustain myself for months.
With essential services absolutely decimated, anarchy and mayhem will soon be the law of the land, with marauding mad-cow-afflicted citizens preying on the most vulnerable.
Using information gathered from watching MSNBC, I have learned that, beyond defense, all that’s left to cut are seniors’ heating and milk for children.
Visual approximation of the 2013 Federal Budget based on analysis by MSNBC contributor Joy-Ann Reid
Be ready to shoot through your door with a shotgun, things are about to get ugly.